A year after my daughter and her husband were killed in a car accident, I was still adjusting to saying things I had never expected to say at sixty-five.
“Finish your breakfast.”“Where are your shoes?”
After the accident, I became Amelia’s legal guardian. She had been five then. I was no longer only her grandmother. I was the person packing her lunches, signing school papers, and sitting beside her bed when grief woke her in the middle of the night.Money was limited. My pension did not cover enough, so I picked up extra shifts at the grocery store. I saved wherever I could and denied myself far more often than I denied her.
When Amelia’s sixth birthday approached, I wanted to give her something bright.
Birthdays& Name Days
“Do you want a party?” I asked. “Cake? Balloons? Your friends from school?”
She shook her head.“Grandma, I just want one day with you.”
Then she smiled. “Just us. Doing something fun.”
So I reserved two lounge chairs at a resort pool outside the city. It cost more than I would normally allow myself to spend, but I had saved for it, and I wanted her to have one easy, carefree day.
HomeSwimming Pools, Saunas & Spas
I had nearly talked myself out of making the reservation. After a year of counting every dollar, it felt indulgent and almost irresponsible.But Amelia rarely asked for anything.
She wore secondhand shoes without complaining, thanked me for simple meals, and still called grocery-store carnations “fancy flowers” whenever I brought them home.
I wanted one day without cash registers, bleach, and constant worry.
One day when she could feel like every other little girl whose greatest concern was choosing between cake and ice cream.So I paid for the chairs, packed our things, and promised myself not to spend the entire day feeling guilty.
Then Amelia asked, “Can we get matching swimsuits?”
I laughed. “Matching swimsuits?”
That won me over.
I ordered two simple blue suits with white trim. Hers had small ruffles on the shoulders. Mine was plain and fully covered. When they arrived, Amelia held them up and declared, “Perfect.”“Perfect for what?” I asked.
On the morning of her birthday, she helped me pack towels, sunscreen, and two juice boxes she called “emergency juice.”
Birthdays& Name Days
By the time we arrived at the resort, she was almost bouncing with excitement. It was much nicer than anywhere I usually took her.
White umbrellas.
Immaculate lounge chairs.
Women in polished cover-ups carrying branded tote bags.
Near the entrance, a sign announced that the resort was hosting a family hospitality feature that afternoon with a local lifestyle company.
I noticed all of it because it suddenly made me intensely aware of myself.
My age.My limited budget.
How carefully I had saved to afford one day there.
Amelia squeezed my hand.
“We belong here too,” she said.
I looked down at her and smiled. “Yes, we do.”
We changed, found our chairs, and went straight into the pool.
